ugh, i’m not supposed to wear most of the fake silver jewelry i have for more than a couple hours, but i fell asleep with my necklace on and now i have this rash across my neck and a whole bunch of little bumps. my ear is almost healed. it’s not all bloody and crusty anymore, lol.

i hate watching people dance to kpop songs. i hate it so much it hurts. 

i’m on the edge of not caring so much, that i’m going to start doing nothing. i’m tired of school. no, i’m not tired of school, i’m tired of girl’s high, and the environment. no one stops to think before they speak, and things are said based off of assumptions and there are other people who are stuck in the middle and have to face the consequences of the peoples’ carelessness. 

i care too much, and that’s why i was scared to go to school today. i shouldn’t be scared and it shouldn’t matter what they think because no one knows the truth, but it does matter to me because they’ll never know the truth because no one bothers to even shut their mouth and listen for the it. 

i’m just tired. i don’t want to go to this school anymore. everything is all mixed up. the last month of school and the consequence for lateness is an overnight suspension. there are teachers that are just as grimey as the students, and i’ve got an in-house on my record for a misunderstanding. all of it is just unfair for everyone, but whatever, i’m supposed to get over it because “life is unfair.” i hate that fucking phrase, it’s such and ignorant thing to say. 

i don’t know if it was the heat getting to me, but as the day went on.. i just began to really not care. every ounce of motivation and dedication was draining out of me. i’m willing to throw away all my plans for summer like the upenn program, and the ACTS, and all my finals because i just don’t care. i just want to go to mississippi, and be with my family and friends, and eat some rice that is made in a real fucking rice cooker. 

my sister has a history of abusing bags and shoes and clothes, like she does not take care of anything regardless of how much it costs, which is why i’m so cautious and stingy about letting her use my things. most of the time if my sister is walking around wearing something that is mine, it’s because she took it without asking me. last week, she asked me if she could borrow one of my bags, and i said yes for one day, and gave her a warning that she better return it in the condition in which i gave it to her.  i ran into her at the bus stop and noticed that she was wearing the bag in an awkward way, and came to find what she was hiding inside, a SLUSHIE CUP, so prone to spilling all over the inside of my bag. she has yet to return my bag, and she doesn’t know that i already know she ripped the handle and strap… smh. 

a huge part of me hopes i don’t get into upenn’s summer program because that means i have to stay up here and work, otherwise i’d be on the first flight down as soon as school’s out. 

i’m exhausted and starved. i skipped my lunch and used my free periods to work on prom invites. it’s such a pain cutting hundreds of strips with scissors too small for my hands. i spent an hour and a half last night creating a spreadsheet for the list of people and their dates. i was running all over the school to make sure matthes had the correct list of all the ticket holders, since i had to keep updating it… i didn’t even realize she was in meetings most of the time, so i was running around looking for air …

and then after school we assembled all the prom party favor bags ! lol, we assembled like 150 in like 30 minutes, yeah ! it’s kinda sad that the only officer there was amy, doe. 

and then, my interview was awesome.

can’t wait til prommmmy.

• bar association run.
• get service learning verification letter.
• hand out “”cheescakes.”“
• finish prom invitations/ tickets.
• assemble party favor bags.
• upenn interview.
• hco interview.
• lacrosse playoffs.
• elections. 
• prom.